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Taco Files

Recent Posts

Jalapeño Sweet Potato Fries (3/26/2015) - I’m getting to be a confident enough cook that I can be creative. I can change recipes up a little and not freak out. I’m also getting to be confident enough that I can sometimes look at a recipe and be totally appalled by what I see.  Like this: ME:  Oh hey, a recipe for […]
Pole-Pole (po-le po-le) (3/24/2015) - To the Taco flock, This is the French Friar. I have been deep in studies and pillaging–I mean pilgriming far and wide. Today I return with the fruits of my travels. Actually, I’ve been nose deep hitting a book deadline and then stupidly decided to hike a mountain without training for it. Because of, you […]
Holy Guacamole (3/18/2015) - I just got back from a week’s vacation at the beach, so I’ve been cooking as little as possible. But I realized that I’ve never shared my recipe for that most sacred of sacraments, The Holy Guacamole. Guacamole is a potentially divisive topic, likely to create great schisms in the HTC. Let me just put […]
Whiskey Soda Bread (3/17/2015) - For St. Patrick’s Day, when you might be needing to soak up some alcohol in your system, why not soak it up with something that’s already been partially soaked in whiskey? I’m sharing with you a recipe for some slightly non-traditional but quite delicious soda bread. I had this at a St. Patrick’s party over […]
Fake Chiles Rellenos (3/5/2015) - Look, you and I both love tacos. They’re delicious. They’re spiritually inspiring. They’re also kinda… fussy to make at home. Lot of moving parts to a taco. The meats, the condiments, the toppings! And I don’t know about you, but some days I want food with low effort. Practically no effort at all. Enter Fake Chiles […]
Verde Pork Loin Fulfills Your Meaty Desires (3/3/2015) - My slow cooker is one of my best friends, a friend that creates loads of food to feed us for days. It works miracle when I’m writing on a deadline. Today I’m sharing a meat recipe that reminds me a lot of posole, that luscious green Mexican stew. This dish, though, focuses on the meat. […]
Green Chile Burros Tacopope Style (3/2/2015) - When I was a wee lad, my parents used to take me to the same Mexican restaurant most weekends and there they would order the same thing every time: Green chile burros enchilada style. We’re talking beef, here, slow roasted until it’s melt-in-your-mouth and wrapped up in a burro with a ladle of verde sauce […]
The Violet Margarita (2/26/2015) - Lots of people claim to have THE margarita recipe. They brag that they have the best margarita, that their margaritas are magnifico and all others are less than adequate. I know better than to enter into that fray. I make an adequate margarita, and that’s just fine. The most important thing: fresh ingredients. If you’ve […]
PUNCH YO’ MAMA OUT (2/25/2015) - So I love punch. It’s kind of my thing. I have this fuck off enormous punch bowl and I love to fill it and have friends over and stick cheese and booze down their throats. WHICH IS MY IDEA OF A PARTY MMMKAY? At the start of this winter (this wretched, wretched winter that will […]
An Ode to Cilantro (2/18/2015) - Since I had a book (Deadly Spells) launch last week I haven’t been doing a lot of cooking. So I find myself coming here today without an exciting new dish to share with you. Mea culpa, my doves. Instead, I thought I’d talk about cilantro, that wonderful herb that adds its amazing flavor to so […]
Vegetable Chowder So Easy Even I Can Do It (2/12/2015) - Hello, tacolytes! I apologize for the delay on this, but you see, I spent this entire week believing I was one day behind—today, it turns out, is Thursday, not Wednesday, and all I can think is that I lost a day. Eddy’s in the space/time continuum, see, and it’s goobered up my brain. I also […]
Spicy Roasted Chickpeas (2/5/2015) - Shhhh, let me tell you a secret: I… don’t have much of a sweet tooth. You can keep your chocolate and your cakes or whatever. Me, I’m a savory snacker. Give me my salt and vinegar chips, my cheddar scones, my baked brie and pear in phyllo. Mmmmmmmmmmm. Soooo goooooood. But these things are also […]
Two Words: Fried Cow (2/4/2015) - Vaca frita. Means: “fried cow.” Fried cow. Fried cow. Fried. Cow. Recipe: TAKE ONE COW. ROLL UP COW IN BALL. DUNK COW-SPHERE IN HOT PEANUT OIL. EAT. Okay, maybe not. Here is what you do, intrepid carnivore. I want you to go to the store. Buy one-and-a-half pounds of flank steak. Okay? And while you’re […]
Salted Dulce de Leche Fudge Loves You (2/3/2015) - Life might really suck. But don’t worry. Salted Dulce de Leche Fudge loves you. It doesn’t judge. It doesn’t tease you, or hack up hairballs on your favorite rug, or cut you off on the freeway. Its creation is fairly peaceful, too. This fudge is super easy. It comes together in just a few minutes […]
The Tacopope’s Favorite FrouFrou Drink (2/2/2015) - Sometimes you ain’t down for a margarita because of that one time you vomited tequila for a week. Sometimes you ain’t down for a beer because GLUTEN, and sometimes you can’t do wine because damn if your palate will ever be developed enough to taste the mulberry-coffee-spiced-anise-gillyweed notes or whatever. Sometimes you simply want something […]
How to Make Tacos Like a Motherfucking God of War (1/27/2015) -   This month, I was initiated into the sacred rites of the Holy Taco Church. I’ll never forget the sacred feeling in the nave as the TacoPope raised his hand in benediction. I remember the chants of Arriba! Arriba! The smoky smell of Chipotle salsa, the chill chunks of the baptismal Pico de Gallo sluicing […]
Challenge Accepted: Jaye’s Taco Salad (1/26/2015) - A couple of weeks ago, the Taco Pope issued a challenge. I’m not sure why he keeps trying to create schisms in the church, but rest assured Reverend Mother Taco Supreme is not one to back down from a dare. The problem is, he didn’t say exactly what the challenge was. Did he want me […]
Deep in the Dark Dungeon of the Dreaded Diet (1/23/2015) - Few among us can survive the temptations of our culinary calling without retaining the “Devil’s Baggage” that our foods come with. Unlike other sacred callings, to be a Holy Taco acolyte or, in the case of myself, one of the Valumminati, we must, by the nature of our order, “eat our own dog food”, so […]
Baked Black Bean Quesadillas (1/22/2015) - When I was in college living in the dorms, my favorite food at the cafeteria was black bean quesadillas.  The cooks used Monterey Jack cheese, and something about the creamy smoothness of the cheese with the heartiness of the black beans — it was like an awesome sideways step over from the familiar cheddar-and-refried-bean versions […]
BECAUSE SKULLS. And an Eterna Files Excerpt (1/15/2015) - Hello Tacophiles! I haven’t been gastronomically adventurous of late, because I’ve been working 5 freelance jobs while trying to write 2 books at the same time. *mad laugh* So it’s a lot of from-the-freezer food and the closest thing to tacos I’ve had lately is making lots of little quesadillas in the microwave with just […]

Church Authors


Writing books is hungry work—ask any author who needs to eat. And in the middle of a 5K-word sprint you can get such a hankering for tacos and margaritas that it becomes a religious experience. Revelations can occur. Passages of holy writ just happen. Like this one from the Taco Bible:

from The Taco Bible, Book of Ingredients


Screen Shot 2014-04-18 at 6.35.27 PM


 Are you a real church?

We are not a church in the tax-exempt sense; we don’t have a choir, organist, or a guilt trip to lay on you, and our altar is the local taco stand. But we are a fellowship of authors who like to get together and talk about stuff we love—in this case, food, drink, and books.

If I join your church will I get in trouble with the one I’m already in?

We really doubt it. For one thing, we’re not going to tell anybody. For another, the Tacolord and Margarita of the Salted Rim don’t require your faith or your worship—they are going to do their thing regardless—so you don’t have to worry about making your current god(s) jealous.

What does the Holy Taco Church think of LGBT marriage?

We hope we’re invited to the wedding and there will be tacos and margaritas at the reception. And churro cupcakes with candied bacon on top. Aww yeah. Because love is rad, people, and we’re all in the same tortilla together.

What is your stance on burritos/tapas/enchiladas/churros/beer/anything else at all? Aren’t they superior foods/beverages?

We like them very much and consume them often. We are not the sort of people to say ours is the one true way or pick a fight over what tastes best. We think you should put whatever you want in your taco, you know? The only thing we fight about is whose turn it is to be the designated driver. Because we ALWAYS need a designated driver even though we all want tasty beverages. Seriously, friends: You gotta be responsible when chilling with Lady Margarita.

How does the Holy Taco Church believe the world was created?

Fuck if we know, we weren’t there. But we’re here now and it’s Taco Tuesday! Or it will be in 1-6 days! We’re going out for the cochinita pibil.





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  • Fill Your Taco With Love

    Here in the Holy Taco Church we are fond of looking at our lives like a taco. When the teeth of the Tacolord crunch down and he eats you (as he eats everything in the universe), will your taco—that is to say, your life— be delicious? How can you make sure that it is? There’s an easy […]

    May 24, 2014 by: