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Taco Files

Recent Posts

Coffee Marshmallows for Edification and Gift-Giving (12/1/2015) - The Holy Taco Church is all about food and love and sharing that love. To that end, I offer you a recipe that makes a butt-ton of coffee marshmallows for your gift-giving and sugar-high needs. That’s right. Homemade coffee marshmallows. We’re going hardcore, baby. I have had my eye on homemade marshmallows for years but […]
Happy Thanksgiving! (11/26/2015) - Today is Thanksgiving. Assuming everything has gone as planned, I’m cooking dinner for my parents and grandparents (Grandpa just turned 90!). The first time I cooked for Thanksgiving, it started as a joke. Mom asked, like she does every year, much like Pinky and the Brain, What are we going to do this year? And […]
One Weird Trick to Fix Crappy Coffee (It’s Salt) (11/5/2015) - Sometimes the beneficence of the Tacolord is found in elaborate cookery — all-day pastries, roasts that cook for hours, sauces that simmer overnight. But sometimes a tiny change can yield a magnificent result. Today, let’s talk about one of those tiny changes. Coffee is the fuel that runs civilization. (Fine, fine, billions of people drink tea instead, […]
Grill Up Some Yummy Chicken (11/3/2015) - Here near Phoenix, it may be November, but it’s still hella hot. Perfect time to grill up some yummy chicken tenders. If you live someplace where you actually have seasons, it might be too cold to grill outside… so fix this up on a grill pan in your kitchen! Or bake it instead. This marinade […]
The Quest for a Latte (11/2/2015) - I have a new quest. Sort of. Not the epic sort with a gardener tagging along who thought to bring some salt from the Shire. Just a quest for a good latte I can make at home. Since I got on the Chemex train for my morning joe I can’t handle much coffee in restaurants. […]
Inauthentic Mexican Hot Chocolate (10/29/2015) - There I was, watching Star Trek: The Next Generation on BBC America, as you do (or as I do), when, in the scientific spirit of Star Trek, I decided to run an experiment. What’s the best way to make a quick batch of Mexican hot chocolate on a chilly fall night?  You know Mexican hot […]
Let’s Taco Bout the Arizona Taco Festival 2015: Report from the High Priestess of Churromancy (10/20/2015) - Long-term Tacolytes might remember my sojourn to the Arizona Taco Festival in Scottsdale last year. There I experienced tacos, margaritas, and bliss; truly, it was one of the most awesome days of 2014, and considering that my first book came out that year, that is really saying something. Well, guess what: I WAS INVITED BACK! […]
OMG Beer in your beans… (10/8/2015) - My TacoPeeps! It’s been a busy season in the Hieberverse of Gothic Victorian Fantasy, working on the next Eterna Files installment (book 2 will be called ETERNA & OMEGA), prepping for my amazing Strangely Beautiful reissue, and also reissuing my award-winning Space Opera novellas about a compelling group of newly evolved psychics, The Dark Nest Chronicles. AND […]
Dulce de Leche Brownies Might Kill You (10/6/2015) - Did you know that sweetened condensed milk becomes lava after mere minutes in the microwave? It’s true. I have had this recipe for ages–I clipped it off a box of Challenge Butter. Mind you, I live in Arizona, so I can easily buy ready-made canned Dulce de Leche at any store. However, for the sake […]
You shall conquer omelets (10/5/2015) - For the longest time I couldn’t figure out omelets. Couldn’t figure out how to spell them, first of all, since there seemed to be several accepted variations. And I was scared of tackling them because of this guy who gave me a lecture on them once: “They must be fluffy, yet not scorched or burned […]
It’s Chili Time! (9/24/2015) - This is chili — the lovely dish of simmered meat and beans and veggies and spices and yum — not the chile that our esteemed Tacopope discussed a while back.  This week is the official beginning of autumn, and when I go outside the leaves are turning and there’s a bite in the air that […]
Fire up the chiles (9/7/2015) - In the southwest it is now fire-roasted chile season, which occurs in August and September, largely in the states of New Mexico and Colorado. I used to hear of it while I lived in Arizona; peeps from Colorado or New Mexico would go gooey-eyed whenever they spoke of it, they drooled a little, and you could […]
Homemade Flavored Tortilla Chips are Amazing (9/1/2015) - When you make tacos, do you ever use up all of the tortillas? I sure don’t. There always end up being half a pack wallowing in the fridge. Which is cool, really. They come in handy for quick-fix quesadillas. Here’s another quick-fix for those leftover corn tortillas: make your own chips! DUDE! I think corn […]
Dinner as Refuge (8/27/2015) - Families with kids are constantly told about how important coming together for a good dinner is. It’s a time to connect, communicate, to strengthen bonds amid the bustle of a busy busy world. Well, I posit that coming together for dinner is important for people without kids, too. Which brings me to the story of […]
Korean Tacos! (8/7/2015) - Here’s a guest post from author Brenda Pierson on Korean Tacos! They look like an excellent way to make your life delicious! —Tacopope Picante I   My humblest thanks to the revered Tacopope for allowing me to address you all today. *bows to Tacopope* And now, I present to you … Korean Tacos. Straight from […]
Cookie Cat! (8/6/2015) - You know about Steven Universe, right? And you watch it, right? Right? If you don’t, first you need to go watch a few episodes of Steven Universe. It is an amazing animated series on Cartoon Network, and each episode is only 11 minutes long do don’t even tell me you don’t have time for this […]
Skirt Steak Is The King Of Taco Meat (8/5/2015) - Skirt steak is the best taco meat. That’s right. I said it. GO ON. FIGHT ME, INTERNET. Fight me. Okay, please don’t fight me. I’m a delicate flower. Like an orchid. Just don’t hit me in the face, okay? HA HA HA YOU FOOL YOU HIT ME IN THE FACE AND NOW YOUR FIST IS MOORED […]
Churro Chex Mix Is a Legal Drug (8/4/2015) - Churro Chex Mix is addictive. It is dangerous. It might cause a sugar high that keeps you awake for a full day. But worry not! It’s a legal sort of drug. This stuff has made the rounds on lots of food blogs. I looked at about five different recipes, read the comments for more tips, […]
Easy fish tacos with corn relish (8/3/2015) - I didn’t used to make fish tacos because they seemed so harrrrrrrd. Waaaahhhh! There’s battering the fish and then concocting an arcane special dill sauce or cilantro lime slaw or whatever and dude that batter just shellacks the walls of your arteries and so on. But you can do ’em healthy. And easy too. You make 1) […]
After Tacos: Strawberry Chocolate Cake (7/29/2015) - Tacos are delicious. We all know this. Otherwise we would not all be here, praying at the altar of the Holy Taco Church. But what should we eat *after* tacos? Besides more tacos, obviously? I mean, we all love the options at Mexican restaurants: sopapillas, churros, fried ice cream… but I am not a fan […]

Church Authors


Writing books is hungry work—ask any author who needs to eat. And in the middle of a 5K-word sprint you can get such a hankering for tacos and margaritas that it becomes a religious experience. Revelations can occur. Passages of holy writ just happen. Like this one from the Taco Bible:

from The Taco Bible, Book of Ingredients


Screen Shot 2014-04-18 at 6.35.27 PM


 Are you a real church?

We are not a church in the tax-exempt sense; we don’t have a choir, organist, or a guilt trip to lay on you, and our altar is the local taco stand. But we are a fellowship of authors who like to get together and talk about stuff we love—in this case, food, drink, and books.

If I join your church will I get in trouble with the one I’m already in?

We really doubt it. For one thing, we’re not going to tell anybody. For another, the Tacolord and Margarita of the Salted Rim don’t require your faith or your worship—they are going to do their thing regardless—so you don’t have to worry about making your current god(s) jealous.

What does the Holy Taco Church think of LGBT marriage?

We hope we’re invited to the wedding and there will be tacos and margaritas at the reception. And churro cupcakes with candied bacon on top. Aww yeah. Because love is rad, people, and we’re all in the same tortilla together.

What is your stance on burritos/tapas/enchiladas/churros/beer/anything else at all? Aren’t they superior foods/beverages?

We like them very much and consume them often. We are not the sort of people to say ours is the one true way or pick a fight over what tastes best. We think you should put whatever you want in your taco, you know? The only thing we fight about is whose turn it is to be the designated driver. Because we ALWAYS need a designated driver even though we all want tasty beverages. Seriously, friends: You gotta be responsible when chilling with Lady Margarita.

How does the Holy Taco Church believe the world was created?

Fuck if we know, we weren’t there. But we’re here now and it’s Taco Tuesday! Or it will be in 1-6 days! We’re going out for the cochinita pibil.





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  • Fill Your Taco With Love

    Here in the Holy Taco Church we are fond of looking at our lives like a taco. When the teeth of the Tacolord crunch down and he eats you (as he eats everything in the universe), will your taco—that is to say, your life— be delicious? How can you make sure that it is? There’s an easy […]

    May 24, 2014 by: