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Taco Files

Recent Posts

Holy Posole (9/17/2014) - Here at the Holy Taco Church we’re dedicated to offering you the best sacraments for your mouth holes. Part of any good religion–as we’ve learned from history–is diversity of choice. So, even though our Taco Pope posted a posole recipe earlier this week, I am also posting a posole recipe. I am confident my posole […]
Homemade Mild Salsa… OF THE MIND (9/16/2014) - No, no. Not really. This salsa is not of the mind. It’s real. And it’s delicious. It’s also best done in large batches, because it would be way too much work for a single jar. First, the ingredients! 12-14 cups peeled, cored, and chopped tomatoes (about 10 lbs) 4-5 cups seeded, chopped Anaheim peppers (about […]
Quest for Fire: Los Dos Molinos (9/15/2014) - Welcome back, friends of the Taco Church, to another installment of Quest for Fire! For those of you just joining us, this is a monthly feature in which I, Sam Sykes, attempt to eat the hottest food known to man and rank it on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being a tepid mixture of […]
Green Chile Chicken Posole Like Your Tacopope Used To Make (9/13/2014) - If you’re not familiar with posole (poe-SO-lay, sometimes spelled pozole), I think it’s time you got acquainted. It’s a soup of glorious flavors and textures and as much spice as you want to add, but it always contains hominy. Hominy is nixtamalized corn, also known as BIGASS MAIZE KERNELS, and you can find cans of […]
The Eterna Files exclusive Taco Church COVER REVEAL and giveaway! (9/11/2014) - TACO PEEPS! Actress and Gothic Victorian Fantasy author Leanna Renee Hieber here, offering you, you wonderful congregation of deliciousness you, the first chance to both SEE the spooky Victorian grandeur that is my first book in the Eterna Files saga with Tor Books, read the cover copy, and have a chance to WIN an Advanced Reader […]
World of Warcraft: Alliance The Insidiousness of the Alliance (9/10/2014) - This post is exactly what it sounds like. Unless you think it’s a Firefly reference, in which case you’re wrong. Ha! Fooled you. Okay, my tacolytes, this post is coming at you from the future. Because I am currently in Eastern Washington, a no-man’s zone of limited connectivity, where coyotes know how to use crosswalks and what […]
TACOROTICA, CHAPTER 2: A Sexy, Sexy Visit to The Taco Truck. (9/9/2014) -   Rita took Eduardo’s hand and allowed him to pull her up from her sticky seat, grateful for the breeze that stirred her sweat-soaked loins. “I could eat a taco all night,” she purred, then gave a husky chuckle. “But I really prefer churros for dessert. Long ones, ridged for my pleasure and sprinkled with […]
The Struggle We Face (9/8/2014) - Dear Tacolytes, WARNING: What you are about to see is graphic, terrifying, and as disgusting as finding week-old guacamole under the couch. Now that I’ve got your attention, the power of Jason compels you to view this clip from “Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs 2″ and then return if you are able:   Hollywood’s […]
You, Too, Can Make Sauce (9/4/2014) - The taco is the perfect symbol of divine love. But sometimes… sometimes you don’t want a taco. We at the Order of the Sacred Frijoles Refritos know this keenly. Sometimes, you want something a little more hearty. Something hot and rib-sticking. Maybe even something… Italian. This is probably not that time for you. And yet […]
Gadzooks! (9/2/2014) - Gadzooks! Enchiladas and Soup is a new place that I keep seeing mentioned on all the best-foods-in-Phoenix type lists. I feel the personal responsibility to vet a taco place that’s earning such kudos. Being in the Holy Taco Church carries onerous burdens sometimes. Gadzooks is in downtown Phoenix, located catty-corner from the acclaimed Taco Guild […]
Make Me An Instrument of Your Easy Deliciousness (8/27/2014) - So I love to entertain. I always fantasized about having an enormous round table where I would serve people tons of food and we’d sit around it and we’d drink and we’d laaaaaaugh. And I’ve been lucky to have made that dream into a reality. But the thing is, I hate the stress of cooking […]
Pan De Plátano (8/26/2014) - Como esta, mi rebaño, this is the French Friar. Today, we are going to talk about plátanos, and no, I’m not talking about that village in Greece, nor is it a Dominican dude, nor is it this sort of Asian person (I get that a lot). The French Friar is going to bring forth banana […]
Taco – a story (8/21/2014) - This month I’m digging into my archives to bring you a piece of flash fiction set at Tito’s Tacos, an eatery you may recall from Presbyter of Peyote Stephen Blackmoore’s vivid review. The following originally appeared on my website and was then podcast on PodCastle. Taco “Hey, tell me, this look like Jesus to you?” I come to […]
Tortilla Soup (8/20/2014) - Now that we’re in the last slow slide of summer days, it’s time to start thinking about soup. Like the holy taco, soup is a malleable miracle food. You can turn almost anything into a soup, and with the days about the grow longer and the air about to chill, it’s the perfect sort of […]
Holy Beef Empanadas (8/19/2014) - Hello and good morning to you, my Holy Taco Church friends! For today’s recipe I’ve gone all the way to my Argentinian sister-in-law to discover how she makes her amazing beef empanadas. The last time I had these was while watching Argentina in the World Cup (a moment of silence for their loss), and they […]
In Which Tequila Made Leanna (think she was a) Genius. (8/14/2014) - Hello Tacophiles. Your resident Goth and Gothic Historical Fantasy novelist Leanna Renee Hieber here. As this is a blog not only about delicious noms and refreshments but about books, you’ll be hearing a lot about my upcoming Gaslamp Fantasy saga The Eterna Files, books that are currently the spooky darlings of my dark, weird heart. […]
Lazy Tacos; or, How I Learned to Fake It and Embrace the Lazy (8/13/2014) - Hello, tacoflock! Let’s get right down to it, shall we? I know I promised you a how-to last month, but the how-to involves consuming food and me and food are currently banned from communicating by the lawyers. Don’t worry, I’m sure it’ll all work out—the jerk just wants more than rightfully it owns and I’ll be damned […]
How to Throw an EPIC Book Launch Party. Hint: CAKE and BOOZE factor prominently. (8/12/2014) - Last Friday night was my fourth book launch party, this time celebrating my YA hardcover debut, SERVANTS OF THE STORM. Photo by Mike Wyner of Silver Dragon Photography.   Now, I’m an introvert who spends most days at my laptop in my Captain America pajama pants, but I *ADORE* book launch parties, in part because […]
Ade’s Mexican Deli (Everett, WA) (8/11/2014) - I’ve been on something of a quest since moving from San Diego, CA to Seattle, WA.   You see, us folk from SoCal are spoiled. Our proximity to the border means great Mexican food is not only plentiful but cheap, too. Now, Seattle is not exactly a small po-dunk town. In fact its virtually identical […]
The Empeachening (Grilled Peaches) (8/7/2014) - The bounty of summer is upon us, and that means peaches. So many peaches. So, so many peaches. I am a fool and an optimist, and so I sign up for a farm share most years. The theory is sound: pony up some cash up front, and then receive a box full of what’s in […]

Church Authors

About

Writing books is hungry work—ask any author who needs to eat. And in the middle of a 5K-word sprint you can get such a hankering for tacos and margaritas that it becomes a religious experience. Revelations can occur. Passages of holy writ just happen. Like this one from the Taco Bible:

from The Taco Bible, Book of Ingredients

 

Screen Shot 2014-04-18 at 6.35.27 PM

FAQs

 Are you a real church?

We are not a church in the tax-exempt sense; we don’t have a choir, organist, or a guilt trip to lay on you, and our altar is the local taco stand. But we are a fellowship of authors who like to get together and talk about stuff we love—in this case, food, drink, and books.

If I join your church will I get in trouble with the one I’m already in?

We really doubt it. For one thing, we’re not going to tell anybody. For another, the Tacolord and Margarita of the Salted Rim don’t require your faith or your worship—they are going to do their thing regardless—so you don’t have to worry about making your current god(s) jealous.

What does the Holy Taco Church think of LGBT marriage?

We hope we’re invited to the wedding and there will be tacos and margaritas at the reception. And churro cupcakes with candied bacon on top. Aww yeah. Because love is rad, people, and we’re all in the same tortilla together.

What is your stance on burritos/tapas/enchiladas/churros/beer/anything else at all? Aren’t they superior foods/beverages?

We like them very much and consume them often. We are not the sort of people to say ours is the one true way or pick a fight over what tastes best. We think you should put whatever you want in your taco, you know? The only thing we fight about is whose turn it is to be the designated driver. Because we ALWAYS need a designated driver even though we all want tasty beverages. Seriously, friends: You gotta be responsible when chilling with Lady Margarita.

How does the Holy Taco Church believe the world was created?

Fuck if we know, we weren’t there. But we’re here now and it’s Taco Tuesday! Or it will be in 1-6 days! We’re going out for the cochinita pibil.

 

 

 

 

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Sermons

  • Fill Your Taco With Love

    Here in the Holy Taco Church we are fond of looking at our lives like a taco. When the teeth of the Tacolord crunch down and he eats you (as he eats everything in the universe), will your taco—that is to say, your life— be delicious? How can you make sure that it is? There’s an easy […]

    May 24, 2014 by: